Happy Birthday, Mamie!!!!

yesterday was a complete emotional disaster.  i have come to the conclusion that i over feel.  is that possible?  i've always been sensitive, but lately i've been a regular cocktail of phantom pregnant lady hormones mixed with reasons to cry.  let me tell you... it's not pretty.

yesterday started out with me not sleeping.  i was up all night thinking about and praying for a little girl at the covering named sarah who myself and one other woman have been working on obtaining a medical visa for.  tired and emotional is always a great way to start the day!  

at various point throughout the day i read new blog post updates from good friends who's week old daughter is fighting for her life (they need major, deep down from the core of your being prayers right now. read more here), and got an update that the hospital we've been working with has officially approved sarah to receive treatment there.  so after tearily flip flopping from joyful to sad to hopeful back to sad to overwhelmed what did i do?  i came home and watched the film 'the impossible'.  it's the true story of a family's experience in the 2004 tsunami.  TOTAL TAILSPIN.  

to top it all off i climbed in bed and watched the video of vince gill and patty loveless singing at george jones's funeral yesterday.  hysterics.  crying, trying my best trying not to go into the rib shaking cry, laughing at how ridiculous i was at that very moment, and trying to soothe the heavy heart i had been carrying around all day.  

phew.  i am glad yesterday was just that, yesterday.  and i am glad that today is bringing a huge reason to celebrate and be joyful. 

my sweet girl, mamie, turns 6 years old today.

mamie,

i saw you first.  did you know that?  before your brothers and sister, i saw you.  on my first visit to sierra leone i turned the corner to walk up the hill toward the center for the first time and there you were.  the prettiest thing i have ever laid eyes on.  shy.  holding back your smile a bit.  i was terrified and excited and you were a touch hesitant, but as soon as i reached out my hand for you you put yours in it and didn't let go all week.  

my second trip to see you was no exception.  i barely had both feet out of the car that dropped us off before i saw you running full speed toward me.  your best dress on, earrings in, and a cute little headband on top of your braids. 

i hope you always run at me like that, arms open.  i hope i never screw up and make you feel like you can't.  i hope you don't ever become the difficult teenager i once was, and always want to hold your mom's hand.  i hope you always keep this 6 year old joy inside of you.

happy birthday, my sweet girl.  i am so proud to be your mom.

i love you something fierce.

me

the moment we met

baby face.  i would give almost anything to have known you when you were this little.

blurry birthday skype

Tuesday's Best: Catching up

the sun is out.

it's finally spring.

70 degrees.

i'm sitting on the front porch with my computer and a cup of coffee.

the birds are singing away.

and it's tuesday's best.

doesn't get much better than this.

i'm long overdue on a tuesday's best update.  we've been finishing our home study and working overtime to save up for the adoption expenses that are about to start flooding in.  as someone who spent their 20's investing in the contents of their closet i'm shocked to announce that i have never been so excited to empty out my piggy bank.  and by piggy bank i mean josh's yazoo brewery growler.

we've been busily dreaming these last few weeks and holding tight to the hopes we have for the weeks to come.  

hang tight, my four favorites.  we're coming for you.

  

four favorites

geraldine said her abc's for us today all by herself.

auntie kelly taught gerald how to throw a peace sign.  word.

looking at pictures of mom as a kid is hilarious...

... but not as funny as pictures of dad and granddad!

last week we surprised the kids with three special visitors...

their friends abdul, mabinty, and sorie!

these three came home to america a few weeks ago after a long three years of waiting for their parents, jason and erica rust, the founders of the raining season.

they spent the night with us monday so they could get up early and skype with us tuesday morning.  

our house has been way too quiet ever since...

surprise!  mohamed and mamie were so excited to see their friends.

happy tuesday's best,

m

Tuesday's Best: Married Style

as soon as we connected this morning i heard mohamed yelling, 

"mom, mom, MOM!  i heard about the married!!!"

in sierra leone everything is a married.  'we are going to the married', 'how was the married?', never a wedding.  and if the other side of the world has heard about our married, well then i guess it's official.  josh and i had our second ceremony, a little less sweaty and a lot more legal, in our backyard here in nashville on saturday.  it was perfect.  just our families.  a couple of friends to make sure our mimosas stayed full.  absolutely no stress.  just perfect.

in the spirit of our tendency to do things a little differently:

my dad walked me down the driveway.  aisles are so 2012.

the neighbors stood on their side porch silently holding hands and watching.

josh surprised me with an engagement ring after putting my wedding band on my finger.

because of this i got a little excited and accidentally kissed him before the whole 'kiss your bride' bit.

like i said, just perfect.

a handful of aunties at the covering popped in to our skype call to wish us well this morning.  lots of mrs. garrett's and laughter and ooooh's over my bouquet that is still sitting on my dining room table.

i give you tuesday's best.  married style.

gerald lost his second tooth.  

who doesn't like looking at life sized cardboard cutouts of themselves?

auntie love.

floral, cheetah, and stripes.  we love our patterns.

bouquet.

prettiest things i've ever seen.  coolio braid included.

happy tuesday's best.

xo,

m

Tuesday's Best

gerald sang us a song.

mohamed played drums with josh and told us how he was baptized in the ocean on saturday.

mamie told us about her school work and we talked about the 3 children who left the center on sunday and arrive in america, their new home, today.

geraldine got bored and went outside to play.

everyone got stickers.

just as it should be.

happy tuesday's best,

m

6.

drums.

twins = twice as many stickers on the wall.

one soldier down and my favorite lone tooth.

so. stinkin'. pretty.

Tuesdays Best, Happy Campers, and the Number 3

this tuesday's best was quite the party.  guest appearances included: 

aunty melissa

 her mom, aunty pattycake

uncle jason

aunty geraldine (baby girl's namesake)

we had 4 very happy campers today.  they are loved and they know it.  

we turned the computer around to show them our disaster of a living room that we are in the middle of painting.  the furniture is squished in the middle of the room, tape and plastic sheeting everywhere, and dust bunnies are freely blowing around... but that didn't stop mohamed from proudly declaring "that is my house!  that is mine and gerald's house."  ignoring the fact that he completely left his sisters out of this equation, this struck me as new thought from him.  we have never spoken to the kids about our intent to adopt them.  until it is so real that we are sitting together outside of a courtroom, waiting for our turn to speak to a judge, i will not breathe a word of it around them.  if anything were to happen that ultimately would prevent us from bringing them home i couldn't bear for them to be as heartbroken as i would be.  i'm not sure i could live with letting them down to that extreme.  so no, we haven't uttered a word to them about it.  but things are beginning to change for their friends... and mohamed is figuring out what that might mean for he and his siblings (errrr brother).

uncle jason and his wife, aunty erica, are the founders of the raining season.  they adopted from sierra leone years ago, and decided that the things they saw were not ok with them.  they have fought, tooth and nail, for everything that i am a part of when it comes to sierra leone.  jason and erica are currently on the ground at the covering and will return to their home in nashville next week with fanfare that will surely have me bawling like a baby at the airport.  after 3 years of tenaciously fighting for their family, jason and erica will arrive home with 3 additions in tow.  i am already working on the sign that i will be holding at baggage claim.  i am also already practicing my you've-got-this-pull-it-together-don't-cry-like-that-it's-ugly face.  it's a work in progress.

but until next week's inevitable tears, there are this week's smiles.

aunty melissa

pattycake (melissa's mom, pat)

the top of uncle jason's head.  super great screen shot, megan... way to go!

aunty geraldine

gerald's muscles

aaaaand mamie's muscles.  

happy tuesday's best!

xo

Tuesday's Best and Joyful Reminders

today was a joyful reminder of what we are fighting, praying, saving, hoping, and waiting for.  

to my beautiful bigs and my not so little anymore littles,

you are more than worth this battle.  may i always bring you as much joy as you bring your dad and me.  and may we always enjoy each other as much as we did today.

i love you more than chocolate cake.

m

6.

auntie ashley!

mohamed reads to us every week, and at some point during the story
we share this exact same moment with the girls.

smiles.

Tuesday's Best: 5 DAYS!!!!!

shred the paper chains and delete the countdown app...  you will now only need one hand.

WE SEE OUR KIDS IN 5 DAYS!!!!! 

we only connected for about 45 seconds worth of skype time today, and after no skyping for 3 weeks due to new years and christmas day falling on tuesdays this would normally completely depress me.  but not today.  today i am packing suitcases and planning schedules and printing boarding passes and praying i don't get pee'd on 3 times like our last visit.  it's a letter 'p' kind of day around here.

the twins showed off their new shoes, mohamed attempted to read to us, and mamie had a brand new 'do.

cannot.  wait.  to.  hold.  them.

'p'eriod.

new kicks

this face.  THIS face.  adore.

swoon.

haPPy tuesday's best.

xo,

m

Tuesday's Best: ReindeerS, America, and Most Bestest Perfectest

this morning's tuesday's best was the best so far.  if i could call it the most bestest without the grammar police attacking me i sure would.  because it was.  most bestest perfectest.

next tuesday is christmas, and the week after that is new years, so we won't be skyping for 3 full weeks.   normally this would make me all sorts of sad, but not after this morning's call.  this morning, we really felt like a family.

the kids sang us christmas carols and asked us to sing them a few as well.  after realizing that we didn't know any of the verses to 'we wish you a merry christmas' josh suggested that we teach them 'rudolph the red nosed reindeer' and it should be noted that josh seems to think the plural of reindeer is reindeerS.  really.  he sang it both times.  i have video proof.  we will obviously not be homeschooling...

i played guitar for them and taught them a portion of a song for them to sing with me (can one collect skype royalties? hypothetically of course), geraldine got up on the chair and did her standard booty dance (oh boy), mohamed asked us to bring him socks when we come visit in january and a photo album full of pictures of himself (hilarious and sweet), then the best thing ever...

gerald leaned in close to the camera and said, "go there!"

we asked him where and he shouted, "america!"

be still my adopting heart.  the kids don't know that we are trying to adopt them.  in case something terrible were to happen and adoption was no longer a possibility they only know that if it was ever an option for us to bring them home we would love to do so.  i couldn't bear for them to be as devastated as we would be if that didn't happen.  to protect their high hopes and their trust in us that we will follow through with what we say, they have less than limited information on what we are fighting for this side of the pacific.

america.  soon enough, sweet boy.  i promise you.  soon enough.

merry christmas to my favorite four.  may you know that you are loved.  may you know that you are wanted.  may you know that you are fought for.  25 days until i pick you up and don't put you down for a solid week.

merry christmas to all and to all a good skype.

america

singing christmas carols

the booty dance that will be the death of me in her teenage years

guitar time.  this is pretty much what every audience i've ever had looks like... ;)

Tuesday's Best - Put Your Head On My Shoulder

this week at gung ho heart it was all cuddling up  for story time, counting down for our next visit, talking about what christmas really means, and trying to call dad on an auntie's cell phone.

i adore these faces.  i cannot wait to see them in 4 short weeks.

storytime

brothers

long distance phone call

yep.  still love looking at pictures of ourselves.

auntie love.

happy tuesday's best!

xo,

m

Tuesday's Best x 2

oh heeeeey!  it's me!  i'm back!  

i've been moving, hence the hiatus, and it is safe to say that josh and i will be living in this house until we croak.  i am never ever ever (taylor swift quote) packing or lifting or unpacking or organizing or, let's be honest, dusting crown molding again.

but now i have internet again.  after 6 hours with the comcast guy it is nothing short of a christmas miracle.  so we can continue talking about our 'yes' conversation tomorrow and i can show you tuesday's best photos like an annoying mom. 

last week we were missing two very big things for our usual skype call.  

1.  josh 

(he was in vegas for work and no child should have to talk to their parent when they are 5 days deep in vegas.)

2.  gerald's front tooth!

yep.  gerald fell and knocked his front tooth so loose that it had to be pulled.  he was INCREDIBLY embarrassed about it and when i told him he looked handsome he turned around and started to cry!  poor baby.  just about broke my heart.  his tears caused me to start crying and everything just went downhill from there.  i was a super sensi mess the whole time.  pull it together soldier!

i did, however, manage to choke out an introduction of my friend, meesa, who was there skyping with me.  well, actually we were at her parents house because they live just down the street from me and had internet and breakfast sandwiches on white bread oh my glob is there anything better?

no josh, no tooth, lots of tears, and meesa.

mo showing his guns to meesa.  lady killer.

the toothless wonder.

so that was last week.  this week josh was back, but now three other things were missing.  mamie's teeth!  holy dental work batman.  we've lost 4 teeth in 1 week.  just wait until josh and mine start falling out.  maybe we can get a 6 for 1 special on dentures?

zero front teeth.

matching outfit twin love.

gerald practicing his fanning skills.  told him i'd need them when i visit in january and its 110 degrees.

i pulled out the guitar for the first time in a year.  i was totally a hit.  famous.

a little qt with the bigs today.

happy tuesday's best!

m