You Were Born For Nothing Less

africa.  i'm back.  from my second visit.  and this time around i'm not so sure how to be back.  i just experienced my husband meeting our children for the first time.  husband?  oh yes, husband.  we also got married.  and engaged.  12 hours before we got married.  see?  how do you come back from all of this?

i watched josh go through the same range of emotions i did on my first visit, only he was much more calm and collected than i was.  like he had been fathering them their entire lives.  jumped right in and started saying bedtime prayers and  giving rides on his shoulders like a pro.  i watched our littles find just the right bends in our arms for their heads to lay in.  i watched our bigs sacrifice some of their precious time with their mom and allow the new children at the orphanage moments of holding my hand, knowing that they needed a little extra love.  i watched josh explain to our children what asking a person to marry you meant, then get on one knee and do just that.  i watched our girls walk me down the aisle.  i watched our boys proudly standing beside their dad.  i watched the orphanage's pastor, a good and wonderful man, marry us on the most beautiful beach.

i saw the best things these eyes have ever seen.  and it's hard not seeing them back home.

"You don't live this kind of life accidentally. You make up your mind who you want to be and daily die to the rest. You surrender yourself to living in the tension where you'll always be stretched and often broken. Religion pure and undefiled is grit without the grime. You accept that far easier ways to live exist, but you were born for nothing less."

- Beth Moore (from her study on the book of James)

the last year of my life this raw but lovely summation has been... well, me.  i am overflowing with joy, and in my next breath completely devastated over having to live so far away from my children.  i am proud of my boldness, yet disappointed with my impatience.  i have never felt more like me or so unlike myself.

i am ungracefully learning how to live in this tension, but i will always choose it.  always.

why?  because i know that i was born for nothing less.

nothing less than this:

 

Tuesday's Best x 2

oh heeeeey!  it's me!  i'm back!  

i've been moving, hence the hiatus, and it is safe to say that josh and i will be living in this house until we croak.  i am never ever ever (taylor swift quote) packing or lifting or unpacking or organizing or, let's be honest, dusting crown molding again.

but now i have internet again.  after 6 hours with the comcast guy it is nothing short of a christmas miracle.  so we can continue talking about our 'yes' conversation tomorrow and i can show you tuesday's best photos like an annoying mom. 

last week we were missing two very big things for our usual skype call.  

1.  josh 

(he was in vegas for work and no child should have to talk to their parent when they are 5 days deep in vegas.)

2.  gerald's front tooth!

yep.  gerald fell and knocked his front tooth so loose that it had to be pulled.  he was INCREDIBLY embarrassed about it and when i told him he looked handsome he turned around and started to cry!  poor baby.  just about broke my heart.  his tears caused me to start crying and everything just went downhill from there.  i was a super sensi mess the whole time.  pull it together soldier!

i did, however, manage to choke out an introduction of my friend, meesa, who was there skyping with me.  well, actually we were at her parents house because they live just down the street from me and had internet and breakfast sandwiches on white bread oh my glob is there anything better?

no josh, no tooth, lots of tears, and meesa.

mo showing his guns to meesa.  lady killer.

the toothless wonder.

so that was last week.  this week josh was back, but now three other things were missing.  mamie's teeth!  holy dental work batman.  we've lost 4 teeth in 1 week.  just wait until josh and mine start falling out.  maybe we can get a 6 for 1 special on dentures?

zero front teeth.

matching outfit twin love.

gerald practicing his fanning skills.  told him i'd need them when i visit in january and its 110 degrees.

i pulled out the guitar for the first time in a year.  i was totally a hit.  famous.

a little qt with the bigs today.

happy tuesday's best!

m

Tuesday's Best

good ol' fashioned close ups with the bigs.

giggly, new birthday clothes wearing littles.

lots of 'i love you's'.

lot's of 'see you in january's'.

they felt so close today.  like i could almost touch them.

the bigs, mohamed & mamie

deenie girl wore her new birthday dress

giggles

blurry, blobby birthday pencils

good golly miss molly, january can't get here fast enough.

i'm going to ask santa for a jet for christmas.

happy tuesday's best,

m