gung ho heart: Happy Birthday, Mamie!!!!

yesterday was a complete emotional disaster. i have come to the conclusion that i over feel. is that possible? i've always been sensitive, but lately i've been a regular cocktail of phantom pregnant lady hormones mixed with reasons to cry. let me tell you... it's not pretty.

yesterday started out with me not sleeping. i was up all night thinking about and praying for a little girl at the covering named sarah who myself and one other woman have been working on obtaining a medical visa for. tired and emotional is always a great way to start the day!

at various point throughout the day i read new blog post updates from good friends who's week old daughter is fighting for her life (they need major, deep down from the core of your being prayers right now. read more here), and got an update that the hospital we've been working with has officially approved sarah to receive treatment there. so after tearily flip flopping from joyful to sad to hopeful back to sad to overwhelmed what did i do? i came home and watched the film 'the impossible'. it's the true story of a family's experience in the 2004 tsunami. TOTAL TAILSPIN.

to top it all off i climbed in bed and watched the video of vince gill and patty loveless singing at george jones's funeral yesterday. hysterics. crying, trying my best trying not to go into the rib shaking cry, laughing at how ridiculous i was at that very moment, and trying to soothe the heavy heart i had been carrying around all day.

phew. i am glad yesterday was just that, yesterday. and i am glad that today is bringing a huge reason to celebrate and be joyful.

my sweet girl, mamie, turns 6 years old today.

mamie,

i saw you first. did you know that? before your brothers and sister, i saw you. on my first visit to sierra leone i turned the corner to walk up the hill toward the center for the first time and there you were. the prettiest thing i have ever laid eyes on. shy. holding back your smile a bit. i was terrified and excited and you were a touch hesitant, but as soon as i reached out my hand for you you put yours in it and didn't let go all week.

my second trip to see you was no exception. i barely had both feet out of the car that dropped us off before i saw you running full speed toward me. your best dress on, earrings in, and a cute little headband on top of your braids.

i hope you always run at me like that, arms open. i hope i never screw up and make you feel like you can't. i hope you don't ever become the difficult teenager i once was, and always want to hold your mom's hand. i hope you always keep this 6 year old joy inside of you.

happy birthday, my sweet girl. i am so proud to be your mom.

i love you something fierce.