Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Too Much of a Good Thing

it's no secret that not everyone has been supportive of our decision to adopt.  some because they don't agree with it.  some because they were caught off guard by it.  some because they don't understand it.

i have been told that i should take my facebook page down and stop advertising that i am adopting "72" orphans.  i have had people tell me to my face that i am crazy.  i've had people talk behind my back about my life being over.  and you know what?  this isn't entirely disturbing to me.  because my life is over.  my old life.  the one that was full of words like "me" and "i want" and "now" and that was missing much more beautiful words like "we" and "they" and "my children".  the life that i wasn't supposed to be living anymore has given way to the life that i am supposed to live from here on out.  i couldn't be happier about it.  if i could have a funeral for my old life i would.  i'd invite ex boyfriends and old insecurities and said naysayers (and probably some of my personal worst dressed list moments) and i'd tell them sayonara and i'd obviously hire destiny's child to perform because it would be hilarious and awesome and everybody would be so jealous that beyonce was at my old life's funeral...  i digress.

i have been told some discouraging things.  and then yesterday something great happened.  my sweet, dear, incredible friend meesa wrote this over at 365 days of country music.  

go on.  read it.  please.  then come back so we can finish this conversation.  go on.  i'll wait.

oh hey!  it's you.  welcome back.  are you still crying from how sweet she is?  you could be reading this post in 3 weeks and i bet i'll still be teary eyed...

first of all, let me say how absolutely invaluable it is to my well being in this process to have someone on the "outside" of this adoption world truly understand how my heart is designed.  she knows me.  and she knows how to say things much more eloquently than i have wanted to in a few choice situations.  thank you thank you thank you, meesa.  

secondly, it is of importance to note that i don't harbor unwarranted anger over people not understanding.  i have certainly had my blood boiling moments but, heck, i didn't understand this once upon a time.  i didn't understand that we are designed to take care of one another.  maybe a person has to see it firsthand.  maybe the need has to be underneath our feet and in our lungs and peeling back our eyelids before we can no longer ignore it.  and now that i've seen it i can't ignore it.  simple as that.

thirdly (it's a word if i want it to be one), i realize that not everyone is cut from the same cloth.  some people have the courage to work with children with cancer, some people have the patience to work with adults with alzheimer's, some people run marathons pushing kids in wheelchairs, some people plan fundraisers... everybody's got their something.  and this kind of passion distribution makes the world go round.  well, passion distribution and the sun's gravitational pull. 

and last (i wanted to say 'fourthly' but i'm pretty sure i used up all of your grammatical lenience with 'thirdly'), i want you to know that i am sorry.  i am sorry that, at least once in your life, someone will be mediocrely excited about your dream.  i'm sorry that, at least once in your life, someone will warn you against it.  i'm sorry that, at least once in your life, someone just won't understand.  i'm sure that i've been that person to someone.  i'm sure that you've been that person to someone.  and i know we can all do better than that.  after all, this is someone's dream we're talking about here.  and dreams are fragile things to be handled with care.

when a woman shares the news that she is pregnant i, barring any sort of terrible circumstance, certainly hope no one tells her that she is crazy.  i hope that people's responses are filled with things like "congratulations!" and "i'm so excited for you!" and that those responses are followed by joyful inquiries about arrival dates and preparations.  i hope that people are able to step inside of her dream and celebrate with her for a moment.

so, this is my dream.  these are my kids.  i am their mom.  josh is their dad.  a house in tennessee will be their home.  i will try my best to give them the life that they deserve.  i will fail.  i will succeed.  i will celebrate.  and my sweet friend meesa will jump up and down and cheer and revel in it with me.  for this, i am grateful.

thank you, suss.  143 6678.  you know.


  1. Love it. Just read her post and yours. You know I support whatever you do, because you are you and we all love you!! Those kids are so lucky to have you and you are lucky to have them! :)

    1. Thank you, Kathy :) Love me some McGee's!

  2. Wonderful posts. Not that my opinion matters but I think well done you, well done Josh, and well done babies! I'm sure they will feel forever special too have a mama who always dreamt of them!! xx

  3. Have I told you lately that you are SO very good? And this is so very good. What Messa said is so very good. What would we do without our soul sistas anyway?

    Keep living for today, baby. That faith fa faith faith is going to get you through. Loving and supporting you and your entire family from the West Coast. You got this.


    p.s. I know it was a dream but can we please really run into each other on a hike? Like now?

    p.s.s. Someday those kids just may need a trip to Disneyland and I have a room here waiting to bunk up all six of you. Can someone say ROADTRIP!!!

    1. Thank you for your sweet words. Thank you for our Disneyland accommodations (that will be one legendary road trip, my friend... also,is there parking for a suburban by your house?). And thank you for the future photo shoot of our family that I will be begging you to take.

      Also, how bizarre is it that I dreamt about running into you and Maureen on a hike in the CA mountains when she was on her way to CA and I didn't even know it?! Life change reader, party of me! LOVE that she and Meghan will soon we near you.


  4. Waaaaaaaait, wait wait. WAIT. I thought you were getting 72 orphans?!?!?!? When did it become 97?!?!?!?! Someone needs to SLOW DOWN.



    1. Oh yeah, 72 is right. Correcting now... 97 is the number of mother's working in our industry that I sent him in lieu of posting his message on facebook since I'm posting eeeeverything on there these days :)